Before we get into that and how that has anything to do with keeping up with the neighbors or ourselves, let’s discuss values. An interesting word that seems to pop up more as I age. Obviously there is a value in the answer to a mathematical equation, we all learned that in school. There is value in saving money on a service that provides you with a need. There are many values but the ones I want to write about are those that we hold dear so let’s get a definition – here are a couple I found with a quick search
Values – beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment – from wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Values – plural of value; a collection of guiding, usually positive principles; what one deems to be correct and desirable in life, especially regarding personal conduct – from en.wiktionary.org/wiki/values
Now some of you may believe I’m stretching towards the preachy side of things but if you bear with me I think I can bring this back home…
I was troubled that my friend wrote that he would somehow now be “cool” so I asked ”What’s so great about it (the iPhone)?” and he replied with “It just is, Jim”. Well that troubled me even more so it got me to thinking while I was later at the off leash area with my pooch; what is it we’re doing, we used to hear how we shouldn’t try and keep up with the Joneses but now I think we are trying to keep up with ourselves but not in a good way. Now it seems that we all need the newest, the latest and greatest; every kid needs an iPod, every game system, Mom & Dad need a new car - zero down and zero interest for 3 years, a new iPhone…we all need everything. I drive a 10 year old car, wouldn’t have a mobile phone if I didn’t need one for work, never owned and iPod and didn’t buy my last TV until the one before it crapped out. I don’t like to spend money on things that I don’t need (mostly, I do own a Kindle reader but that’s another story and I thought long and hard about that one). I live by the idea that the first thought in the Reduce – Reuse – Recycle triangle is the most important so I have been working on letting go of material objects and concentrating on adding experiences in my life. I own memories, not “stuff”. This is one of my values.
So it made me wonder, why did this “thing”, yes a nifty “thing” but a “thing” nonetheless make my friend feel “cool” or even “cool-ER”? Will it make me like him more, make him a better Father, a more loving husband or even for that matter something a bit more mundane, will it make a better burger or his lawn greener? I began to think about want v need and as I sat on a log, watching the dogs play and their humans frolic and chat and laugh and toss tennis balls and I noticed something interesting…not a single person at the off leash dog park was wearing earbuds. For the first time in a very long time I was surrounded by people that weren’t for that moment tied to “things” but to experience. Experiences that cost nothing but are truly a need, the spring breeze off the water, the barking splashing dogs, the waves tumbling into shore – life. The sounds, the feeling, the experience of just being.
So here is where I try and bring this all the way around. What are your values? They obviously are not mine, nor anyone else’s. They may be similar to another persons but they are not the same. My values are to live simply; live very well but simply. I want, no need to feed my family well but do it within my means. I need to grow some of my own food, to feel the soil tumble through my fingers and know that what grows will nourish my family. I need to walk alongside my son and my dog and I need to smile and feel the sun on my face. Along with all that I need to provide shelter for my family, more than just shelter really but a home. A home that is ours where my son can paint his room any color he wants, where if something breaks I know I have to step up and fix it. Pride of ownership, quality of life, a place to watch my family really live.
It is my values that helped me realize I can live a good life and still own a home. I’m able to live on far less money-wise than most everyone I know when it comes to our grocery bill and I eat well, I eat locally and sustainably and frugally, all while I live my values. Many times in the past I’ve heard that one of the first places to cut out is the pantry. Well I found I can do it and this is one part of how I was able to purchase my home. I know anyone that makes the effort can do the same thing.
So I ask you, I’m keeping up with myself, are you keeping up with yours?
